Microblog

27/08/2025

I'm starting to recover from my breathing issues. It seems they get better when laying down in bed fully stretched and while talking. I've done a lot of reading out loud because, as silly as it sounds, it forces my breathing to be normal. And it's one of the few things I can do in that position. I don't have that much to do on my phone and laying on my side doesn't help. On the other hand, it gets worse every time I sit down. It's like my body rejects anything related to my work, even if it's just sitting. So I could barely add any content here.

Anyways, at least I've had time for reading and got very inspired. I want to start a little world building project, but not sure how well it'll go. I already had bits of lore here and there, just never put them together. Maybe I'll try it and, if I do, I'll post some of it somewhere in this site. Got ideas for a first version of my Animal Crossing game, new pages I want to write, also want to draw...just right when I can't do any of that lol

23/08/2025

We finally had the chance to do some gardening now that the heatwaves are gone. Right before summer we planted a brambleberry and raspberry bush in the same huge stone planter, thinking it would be too much effort to move a second one only for the bushes to die soon after (we're not that good at gardening).

Well, they both grew. A lot. And ate each other's space. Today we finally had the perfect weather to separate them. Also used the chance to re-pot other stuff. I hope everything goes well and we get some berries next year. I know brambleberry bushes can grow a lot but this one doesn't seem to be growing thorns (maybe it's a special breed?).

The photo is not from today. I took it two weeks ago and feel super proud of how detailed it is. I was so close that I could feel the air moving from its wings on my skin! Based on my location and its appearance, I think it's a Scarce Swallowtail. But I'm no expert. I've just grown an interest in observing the fauna that visits our patio.

22/08/2025

I suspected that I've been having some serious anxiety for the last couple of months and today I finally decided to go to the doctor. Yep, looks like anxiety to him as well. Apparently, you can get that even without a big workload. It's enough if your work environment sucks. Feels like I'm complaining for no reason compared to what others get, but here I am.

Spent the last two days gasping for air. I need to take a deep breath but when I do, it's cut short, which leaves me feeling constantly gasping for more. And the more it happens, the more stressed I get. It's a loop and it only happens when I'm not doing anything. Busy working? Fine. Gaming? Cool. But if it's something that doesn't require too much focus, I'm out of air, so it's all in my mind. What a joy to try to sleep like this. Luckily it's only at night when I have to work next day. Naps have me covered.

Tried meditating, which has helped a bit in the past, but guess what? Stillness and thinking about my breathing makes it worse, so I can't. I was worried the doctor would give me anxiolytics straight away. But instead he gave me the lavender pills that he takes when stressed (I can't stand tea-likes). Then goes and tells me that I can't keep going like this with my job. The pot calling the kettle black or something considering he takes them too lol

PS. can't believe some lavender would work this well! Wish I had started this page with something brighter though

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Decorative image of Clippy, the assistant from older Windows versions. Decorative image of Rover, the assistant from older Windows versions.